Purgatory
by SteveElOtaku
Summary: Jackie was left in hell with no hope of escape, and everything he cared about gone. Now he's got a way out...and one chance to save himself, Jenny, and the Family. Is there really a light in the Darkness? Or has Jackie just found a new way of condemning himself? Set after The Darkness II.
1. Hellraiser

You ever have a really bad day? I don't mean like, "oh, I parked in a fire route and the NYPD is ticketing my ass, and I got coffee on my tie and now I have to work overtime and I'll miss the game on TV" bad. I mean really fucking bad. I mean, say your uncle tries to kill you 'cause you owe him and you scare him. Your girlfriend gets shot in the head and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You try to do the right thing and ease her pain, fight an evil cult, and you end up stranded in hell for it…well, ok. When it comes to bad days, I hit the fucking jackpot.

_This is not the END, JACKIE. You ARE not A PRISONER._

"Yeah, smartass? Explain then why I'm still stuck here in hell."

_THE ANGELUS has POWER. But I AM STRONG._

"Strong enough to fuck my life up, but not save it?"

_You THREW yourself INTO THIS mess. I HAD nothing to DO WITH IT._

"You could have told me! Instead, you just kept me in the fucking dark!"

_You WOULD NOT have BELIEVED me, JACKIE._

"Ok, you have a point. But that's only 'cause you lie through your fucking snake teeth every two seconds."

_THERE is a WAY. I WILL not LET YOU BE damned by HER._

"Alright. What do you have in mind?"

_This is MY REALM. SHE has no AUTHORITY here. I WILL not let my SERVANT BE I am weakened GREATLY by your actions, I CAN still set you FREE._

I gotta say, even though I don't want to trust it, The Darkness has my number. I want out. There's no two ways about it. I don't like having to deal with it, but at the same time I can't just sit here while some order-obsessed jackass cosmic force is taking the only woman I ever loved for a joyride.

"Well that's great, Glinda. So what do I do, click my fucking heels?"

_Be STILL. THIS may cause MOMENTARY DISCOMFORT._

Sure enough, it hurts like hell. But not as much as what got me here. Not as much as losing Jenny...

Still, it feels like someone's playing a polka on me with baseball bats and a stun gun.

By the time I come to, I'm lying on the streets of New York again. Ah…good old NYC. I missed this rat-infested, stinking, polluted hellhole. You know, there was that Disney movie, with the cat and Billy Joel as a dog…Huey Lewis did the opening song and I honestly think it sums up this town. Sometimes, you've got no control at all and if you don't hold on and keep dreaming you're as good as dead. Let's face it, for a guy like me, NYC is nothing like those Meg Ryan movies.

"So I was saying to her, "Oatmeal? Are you crazy?" and then—Jesus Christ! Boss! What the hell happened to you? We've been looking for you for a week!"

Vinnie. Good old Vinnie. And right behind him is Jimmy the Grape.

"Vinnie…Jimmy…aren't you a sight for sore eyes…"

Jimmy eyes me from under his purple fedora.

"Christ, Jackie! You look like you've been through hell and back!"

I had.

Vinnie just looks at me and passes me a hip flask.

"Here. Got some bourbon in this. Not your favourite, Boss, but a little liquor might get ya back on your feet. "

Jimmy pulls a cell phone out of his suit pocket.

"I'll have the limo sent around. We're getting you home, Jackie."

You know what's great about the Family? They really are family. All the good ones, at least. And you really couldn't ask for better family than Vinnie and Jimmy the Grape.

What seems like an eternity later, but was probably only five minutes, the limo pulls up and Vinnie loads me inside. The plush seats never felt as good as they do now. I sigh heavily, but at least I'm safe.

And that's when this asshole gangsta wannabe slams into the limo. He gets out, talking all big.

"Hey. Old-timer! Pay up! You're in Swag-G's turf!"

Jimmy the Grape, in classic style, simply looks at him with a look that says just how much trouble he's in.

"I believe I didn't hear you correctly, son. My old age, you know, makes it hard to hear sometimes. I think I heard you say "Shit, sir, I'd better pay up because you're a member of the Estacado family and the Don won't be remotely happy with me if my worthless, sorry, wannabe ass doesn't lick his boots.""

That's when the gangbanger does something really, really stupid. He shoots out my window, and drags me out through the door.

"Don Estacado. I'm going to bust a cap in your sorry ass…"

Vinnie goes for his gun, but then he stops as he looks in horror.

The Darkness is already out. The two snakelike tendrils grin at me with piranha smiles. And that's when head number two shoots straight into the poor bastard's heart for a midnight snack.

I feel rejuvenated. I've got enough strength to get up and look his dead body in the eyes.

"Didn't your mom tell you to stay off the streets when it's dark?" I glare, and walk back, limping.

The limo's trashed. The idiot managed to bust a wheel. I'll have the cleanup crew deal with it later. In the meantime I have Jimmy and Vinnie take this poser's Hummer. It's tacky as hell, but it'll have to do. Loud rap music blares as we get in, and Jimmy just shakes his head and slides in a Sinatra CD. Within ten minutes, we're back at the mansion.

Yeah, you know what? No matter how bad things get, I still own this town.

You hearing this, Angelus? I'm coming for you. Nothing is gonna stop me from getting Jenny back. I don't care if I have to pull her out of your feathered ass. I'm gonna save her and save the city.

Because I own this town, and you just broke my one rule.

Don't fuck with the Family.


	2. Equilibrium

There comes a time in every man's life where things change. And I don't mean shit like getting a puppy or a mid-life crisis car. I mean an honest-to-God change. Like one where nothing will ever be the same again. Meeting Jenny was one of those kinds of changes. Losing her was another. I've been to hell and back twice. I've killed hundreds of people. Let's get one thing straight—I'm not the good guy. Never have been. Never will be. But I figure I can be a decent enough bastard to save the one ordinary person who thought there was more than a murderer in me.

"Welcome home, Boss. We all missed you. Sorry about the mess, but we're kinda restoring the place." Vinnie explains.

I nod, and manage a smile.

"Yeah, thanks Vinnie. It's good to be back."

"Where'd you get to, anyway? Those Brotherhood bastards, did they have anything to do with it?"

I nod again.

"Yeah…my 'thing' was involved, and well, I kicked their asses and ended up taking a very bad trip after. Let's just say things got hot under the collar."

Vinnie nods. He's got the message. It means we'll probably talk later in my office. Right now, I just gotta get upstairs and rest. I start limping up the stairs.

Predictably I trip and fall right on my friggin' face.

Dolfo's at my side in an instant, giving me a hand up. I thank him. He's a good guy, Dolfo. Not the brightest, maybe, or the sanest, but a good guy nonetheless.

"Oh, and Jackie, one more thing!"

Jimmy the Grape's waiting nearby.

"Listen, Jackie, Johnny wants to speak to you when you're feeling up to it. He's very…agitated. You know how he gets."

"I know, Jimmy, I know. I just need some me time.'

So that's when I go into my room, and close the door.

This was one of the few places that didn't get too badly fucked up by the Brotherhood. I wander over to the table near the door, and sit down. There's Jenny's picture sitting there, along with a lit candle. Vinnie must have kept lighting it while I was gone. Sure enough, a little note confirms it.

"For Jackie, who I hope to God isn't gone, and if he is, I hope he's with you, Jenny-Your old pal, Vinnie."

Vinnie is one of the few people left who knows just how much Jenny means to me. Sure, he'll try to get me to see other girls every once in a while, but that's mostly because he can't stand to see me moping around the mansion. A few minutes later, I've got a warm bath run and I'm slipping inside. Crazy, I know, taking a bath at a time like this. But then again…I just got out of hell and I'm covered in dirt, blood, and God knows what else. I figure I'm entitled to one.

So I'm just enjoying the water and suds and that's when The Darkness decides to have a little heart to heart with me.

_RESTING now JACKIE? YOUR NEMESIS is LOOSE in NEW YORK._

"Your nemesis, maybe. I don't give a flying fuck at the moment."

_You will NOT save JENNY WITH that ATTITUDE._

"You kept her locked up! You only wanted me to save Jenny when it suited you!"

_YOU are MY PUPPET. YOU should not REBEL LIKE YOU do._

"Let's get one thing straight, you Japanese porno reject, I don't take orders from you. I'm the Don. I only put up with you because you're too dangerous for anyone else to have."

_YOU will OBEY!_

"In your dreams, fright-face. Now shut up and let me enjoy my bath."

Pretty soon, the nightmares living in my shoulders slide back in and the voice goes away. You know, it's not easy being the host of what's basically the Godzilla of shadows, but it isn't always so chatty, and I thank God it knows when to keep it down.

After soaking for a good half hour, I get into a new suit, and come downstairs to find a very jumpy Johnny Powell waiting for me.

"Jackie! J-Jackie! I-I need to speak to you, if that's alright and you have time and stuff, because…because, uh, well, you see, y-you, well, uh, The Angelus is loose, alright? And uh, well..."

I cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. She stranded me in hell. The Darkness got me out. Used what little power it had left."

Johnny shivers.

"Listen, Jackie. That-that's not a good thing, ok? The Darkness isn't something you want around, no, b-but with-with The Angelus, you don't stand a chance without your Darkness power at full. Y-you are f-f-fucked without some serious firepower!"

I give him a steely look.

"I need to get Jenny back. Get The Angelus out of her. Can I do that? Can I seal The Angelus?"

"Get Jenny out? Probably. S-seal it? No. Well, I mean, yeah, but you don't w-want to do that. Balance thing. Equi-equilibrium stuff. Also it's hard as hell to do."

"Equilibrium? The fuck are you talking about, Johnny?"

"I'm s-sayin' that darkness and light can't exist without each other. Lock one away, bad shit happens. Angelus reigns supreme? The world's so bright you g-gotta wear shades, except, nope, you die for being too chaotic for it. Same with Darkness. The Darkness would make the world hell. Or blow it up. Either one. This is why they exist. To oppose each other."

"And what do we exist for, getting screwed over by them?"

"I'm a-a paranormal specialist, Jackie, not a philosopher."

"Alright, alright. Go back to what you were doing and try to find something I can use to take Jenny out."

"C-can do, Jackie."

He stumbles off, muttering. He's crazy as a loon and he lives in a cardboard box under the bridge, but he knows his shit when it comes to the supernatural.

I feel like shit, so naturally I go to watch some TV to get my mind off things. Wonder what's on the classic movies channel…

_To Kill A Mockingbird._

Fuck.


	3. Better Off Dead

You ever have a pleasant memory that just hurts every time you think of it? You ever once love something but now can't bear to look at it? Because this is what my life is like now. It's full of little things that make want to just curl up and break down and cry. No, it's not considered manly, but fuck that. You don't get very far in an Italian family if you can't appreciate sadness. A ton of our shit is sad. _Pagliacci. Rigoletto. Madama Butterfly. The Godfather. _I really don't need to go on, do I? But there are four things in the world I can't bear seeing. The orphanage, Jenny's apartment, Hellgate Field…and _To Kill a Mockingbird._

Jesus Christ, why am I even watching this?

I haven't been able to change the channel. It's like a train wreck, I can't help but watch. The piano music at the start hits me in the heart.

Jenny's face, her voice…it all drifts back to me. It's like I'm back in her apartment, her TV on top of the box that held her record player…

I'm in her arms and it feels like heaven…but it's all just an illusion. Just a daydream. Hell, I no longer even care…

I swear, the more I watch this film, the more it hurts. Every bit of it has something that reminds me of the past. Bob Ewell, that hick bastard, he's like Uncle Paulie before I blew his fucking brains out. Scout reminds me a bit of Jenny…it's almost hard to watch her.

I'm beginning to see why the film is so popular. It's well-acted, honestly, and it's not preachy, at least not in a bad way.

You know, I've never noticed just how dark this movie is. I don't mean like theme-wise, I mean like shadows and stuff. Like The Darkness, really…hey wait…if I'm just daydreaming, why does it feel like…

I realize to my horror that The Angelus is in my arms.

I would scream for guards. For a hundred gunmen. But I can't. It's Jenny…and she's pressed her finger to my lips with a cruel smile and voice not her own. Of course. The Angelus.

_"Shh, Ratface. People are sleeping…" _

The Darkness is out in two seconds, and it's ready to get its fangs in her, but I hold it back.

_"Aww. How touching. You don't want to hurt Jenny…"_

"Shut the fuck up." I growl at The Angelus. "You don't deserve her! And you don't get to call me that!"

_"Vile creature of darkness…did you really think you could be with her? She is innocent…"_

"Yeah, don't give me the fucking 'innocent' act, you child-murdering fuck."

That's when she backhands me across the couch.

_"You will pay for your insolence."_

I just fix her defiantly.

"Go ahead and kill me, then. I've lost everything that matters."

_"No, I think not. You need to pay FAR more than that…"_

And just like that, The Angelus is gone….and Vinnie's burst into my room wielding a machine gun, and so has Jimmy.

All they find is me, curled up on the sofa, crying, with the last scene of _To Kill a Mockingbird _ending.

Jimmy puts a hand on my shoulder and Vinnie breaks out the tissues.

Everything hurts right now.

And it's not ok. It's not fucking ok.


	4. White Oleander

They say before you die your life flashes before your eyes. That's bullshit. All you see is the last stuff that was happening and the shit you regret most. Take it from me. I've died about four times. Yeah, I know, I'm being pretty cavalier about that, but it's not like I can STAY dead. Unless The Angelus gets to me and decides it doesn't want to play the school bully any longer and just skip to literally ripping my heart out instead of just metaphorically doing it. You know, some days, I wonder just what the fuck I did wrong to deserve this. Wait, never mind. Don't answer that.

So it's "impromptu meeting/damage control session" up in my room, and I've calmed down some. The key word being "some."

"Fucking light-bulb angel stripper lookin' bitch! I swear if I get my hands on her I'm going to take Jenny out and rip The Angelus so full of holes she'll be a fuckin' strobe light, the cocksucker!"

Vinnie quirked an eyebrow.

"Uh, Boss, I'm lovin' the Pesci act, but you've gotta calm down. Jenny needs you to be calm."

He's right. I stop.

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"Hey, she's got your girl. I'd be pissed too, if I was in your shoes."

Jimmy speaks up.

"We need a plan, Jackie. Let's face an ugly truth. Right now, she's got big time power. If we want to whack something that's millennia old, we gotta get power to match."

Johnny trembles as he enters.

"Th-that's where I come in. I've drawn up a map of old Brotherhood bases. I figure, if-if we raid them, we might get some gear and clues."

Johnny's plan makes sense, but it's going to take time. I feel antsy as hell just sitting around and stuff, but really, there's not much I can do until I can get back to full strength.

"The Darkness must feed…" I say, hesitantly. "I guess I'll spend some nights out then."

I take to the streets in a black sedan deliberately picked to help me keep a low profile. The last thing I need to do is draw unwanted attention to myself. I'm driving slower for once, heading down the avenue, towards Chinatown. I drive past the basketball court that once lead to where Jenny lived. There's a bunch of flowers lying on the ground by the trash and a cardboard sign saying "An angel lived here."

Jenny…God, I miss you.

I get out of the car, kicking a can down the street as I go down it. I'm headed for a billiard parlour, some near-abandoned dive I shot up two years ago looking for some rat named Dutch Oven Harry.

Maybe if I'm lucky, the bullet holes will still be there. The place could stand some redecorating.

I open the door and for a moment I swear I've stumbled into _The Crow _or some shit like that. It's all goth kids and the odd dealer and crap.

Geez, this neighbourhood really HAS gone to the dogs.

I get some remarks on the "sweet coat" I'm wearing. They don't seem to recognize me. Then again, I'm not wearing my suit, and I'm dressed like I'm still running business errands for Uncle Paulie. I deliberately changed things up though. A sweater I never wear, a new pair of jeans, shit like that.

I walk through, the dark lights and dark, angsty hearts of the people in the room feed The Darkness. That's the thing about The Darkness. It loves any kind of dark.

But then I see something in the back….

A girl, feebly protesting as her drugged body refuses to cooperate as some lowlife fuck is raping her. She's protesting, trying to scream, but she's choking on saliva and God knows what else. Dark hair…lip ring…

Oh God…she looks like Jenny…

Am I hallucinating? Or…

Regardless, I can't let him get away with it. He's a disgusting little fucker. All weekend warrior and no taste. He must think he's hot shit. The kind of fucker who thinks asking a woman to make him a sandwich is funny. You ask any of the Family girls to make you a sandwich and they'll make a lovely one with your teeth, tongue, and lower jaw, with your balls as the olives. Don't fuck with the Family.

I speak up above the radio playing The Cure.

"Hey. Fucker. Leave her alone."

He glares at me.

"Oh yeah? Make me stop, faggot."

Oh wow. He really has no idea who he's dealing with.

"I just killed a guy outside." He brags. "I deal so much coke it'd make your head spin. You ain't got shit. I'm taking this bitch for my own."

I'm trying to hold The Darkness back. But it wants out. It wants to make this bastard suffer.

"So what the fuck do you do otherwise?" I snap back.

"I fuck bitches. They come to me because I'm the only thing that's worthwhile in their lives. They're so beaten and useless they'd suck me off just for a gram."

That does it…no one fucking hurts a woman around me. Ever.

The Darkness roars out.

"Welcome to hell, you fuck. Do you have a name?"

"I-I'm Big Pussy Paulie!""

"Funny. I never did like people named Paulie. My uncle, Paulie, he was a rat bastard. Like you. I killed him. Now, I didn't plan on killing you. But The Darkness, see…has different ideas."

He dies screaming. Torn in half, The Darkness going in through his mouth and ass. Not pretty. Not pleasant.

But a fitting death.

I take the poor girl from the table he'd shoved her onto. I take my coat off, putting it on her.

"You'll be safe now…" I tell her.

The goth crowd's looking on in awe. I'm able to walk through them no problem, though.

"I told you it existed!" one says, and another just gives him five bucks.

Kids these days…

I get in the car and stick the girl in the passenger seat. She comes to and panics a little, but I calm her.

"Shh…it's gonna be alright. I'm gonna get you help. You need a doctor."

"Wh-what happened to Paulie?" she asks, frightened.

"Paulie won't be hurting anyone anymore. You got a name?"

"S-Sara…"

"Well, Sara, I'm getting you to the doctor. Don't worry about paying for it. I'll handle it. If anyone gives you trouble, just say Jackie Estacado sends his regards. "

The girl nods, and falls asleep just as we get to the hospital.

Sleep tight, Sara.


	5. Love Story

You know, a few years back, I took Jenny to see _Wicked_ on Broadway. Uncle Paulie didn't pay a cent for the tickets, always talkin' shit about "the fags on Broadway" that acted in these shows, so Aunt Sarah treated us. I think Jenny and I were some of the few in the audience who weren't thirteen or whatever and with their parents. I'm not much for Oz and stuff, and the music was catchy but kinda grated on me. And then I heard this one song… Elphaba was singing about how no matter what she did, no matter what good she tried to do, she'd always get punished for it. I don't know if I entirely got it, back then. But now, I think I do. And that kinda brings me to another thing about Broadway. I managed to get some of Jenny's things from her house before it got cleaned out. I got her DVDs and CDs, as well as her photos. Now, Jenny, she had this soundtrack for one movie, _The Phantom of the Opera_. I remember watching it with her one night, we snuck into the theater. And I loved it, it was really fuckin' hardcore. I mean, some masked nutcase in an Opera house breaking necks and singing about darkness? I thought that was cool. Then I actually became a nutcase who breaks necks and deals with darkness. Funny. But anyway, there was another song, only on the CD…I listened to it last night for the first time. And there's the Phantom, and he's not being all badass and showy. He's just…crying, basically. Because nobody's fucking listening. And the one person who ever did listen to him is gone from his life. He's got nothing to live for anymore. I'm not going to lie, I felt my guts twist when the track ended.

So boy do I get an earful when I walk in the door.

"Jesus Christ, Jackie! I thought you were trying to keep a low profile!"

Looks like Jimmy isn't happy.

He points at the TV.

Sure enough, my little escapade is already TV news.

"Witnesses state that a mysterious man with what appeared to be snakes coming out of his shoulders violently tore a man in half."

Some goth kid's being interviewed.

"Yeah. That drug dealer *BEEP* never leaves us alone for a minute and he was roughing up one of our own…So suddenly this guy I've never seen before walks in, and like, he's got these things comin' out of his shoulders, like snakes, or something. Some kinda weapon, maybe. It was hard to see in the dark. Lighting is really bad in there. Anyway, that guy? Bisected in like, two seconds."

Jimmy flicks off the TV.

"This is bad, Jackie. The police are going to be gunning for you."

"Shrote's dead."

"Doesn't matter. The cops still have his records and we're not bribing them currently, because we have standards."

"What did you expect me to do, huh? I couldn't just stand by and do nothing while that sadistic little fuck hurt her! You told me the Family has to look out for the community. Well, that's exactly what I did! And I would have done it more subtly, but I lost control of The Darkness. I was just gonna knock him senseless otherwise."

Jimmy sighs.

"Well, Jackie, it's not impossible to stop this right now. We'll just spread some rumors, comments on drug use, that sort of thing. I'll get Butcher Joyce to leave a dead rabid wolf or bobcat or some animal nearby. They'll think that did it, and not you."

I suppose we'll just have to roll with that. I nod.

"While you're at it, Jimmy, get some of the boys raiding warehouses, but take Johnny along."

"Right. Good luck, Jackie. And don't go pissing off people unless you absolutely have to."

I go back to my room. I should be doing more desk work, but I just don't feel like it. I don't need problems. Not more of them, at any rate. I take a seat in my chair and go over to the stereo, slipping one of Jenny's old CDs in. The sounds of eighties top 40 pop provide a welcome filter of white noise for my mind. A few more minutes later and I've mixed up a martini, taken my shirt off, and generally look like the picture of the idle rich bachelor.

Or like Bruce Wayne. Hell if I know what a normal rich guy looks like. I like to keep out of that scene.

And that's when things get bad. Jenny appears beside me.

"Jenny?"

She puts a finger to her lips. I don't trust this. Not at all. But…

Jenny wraps her arms around me. She kisses me. Just like she used to…

It feels real. But I've had illusions that felt like this, so it's probably not.

For a moment, I don't even care. Jenny's dark hair shimmers in the night. The car horns and sirens outside just underscore the moment perfectly. The sound of REO Speedwagon's "Keep On Loving You" flow through us. I feel alive. For the first time in what feels like a fuckin' eternity, I feel alive.

"Jenny…God help me, no matter what…I'll always love you…"

"Oh, Jackie…"

That's when I feel something wet on my skin. Green. Glowing.

What the hell?

Jenny dissolves into a puddle of green liquid. And yet…

Something's there…a ring…

I recognize it. It's the one from her lip.

But if she's the host for The Angelus…how did she get this to me?


	6. Mean Girls

You know, I still remember when Jenny got her lip pierced. She came over wearing a scarf, hiding her mouth. I was asking her, "What's with the scarf?" And she wouldn't say until I pointed out I couldn't kiss her like that. She blushed, and she took it off, asking if she still looked pretty. I up and kissed her right there. She was fuckin' beautiful. Always was. Always will be. But let me tell you something. I still remember the feel of that ring against my lips. And sometimes I feel it in my dreams, in even the seconds between subway stops. You never forget your first kiss. And Jenny…I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss. I'd do anything for Jenny. Anything at all.

About thirty minutes later, Johnny Powell is in my room examining the puddle and the ring and getting really skittish.

"J-Jackie. You don't know what this is, do you?"

"If I knew, Johnny, I wouldn't be asking you."

"W-well, of-of course, ok...S-see, this is ec-ectoplasm. You know, like in _Ghostbusters_. Th-that means, you saw Jenny's ghost. A genuine ghost, Jackie. That-that's pretty rare."

"She's the host of the Angelus. Doesn't that mean she shouldn't be able to contact me?"

"That-that'd only be true if she had a body. She doesn't. Like you said, her-her body is buried."

"So what gives with the ring?"

"W-well, Jackie, you gotta understand something about l-love and the supernatural. Ghosts, see, inhabit places of great emotion. It's similar with objects. See, this ring…well, you probably kissed it, a lot. Tons of love and that. And those memories and that love, they got stored in the ring. The Angelus is a force of order. Love, love is chaos. Uncontrollable. Passionate. It's why The Angelus can't control it. I'm guessing Jenny's ghost manifested from the ring. The love and memories drew her spirit from The Angelus and into a temporary, ghostly form."

"So, in simple terms, Johnny, what does that mean?"

"It means The Angelus hasn't got total control of Jenny. And that we may have something to use against it."

"Good answer, Johnny. Take all the ecto you want."

"The ring, Jackie, what're you gonna do with it?"

"I'll keep it safe. You can use some magic around it, but I want to hang onto it. It's the only thing I have left of her, really."

Johnny nods quietly and walks out.

I place the ring inside a box, very carefully. I latch it shut, sealing it with a combination only I know. Anything Johnny wants to test out, he can do it through the box. I need a good night's rest…

I lie down on the bed, barely getting undressed, and try to let sleep overtake me.

It's not easy. I'm greeted by nightmares.

I see Jenny die again and again and there's nothing I can do. I see The Angelus burn New York to ashes. I see Aunt Sarah's death, just as vivid as when I saw it the first time. I see Sara, dead in an alley. I see everyone I love and care about dead. And where am I? I'm under the heel of The Angelus, who's making me watch.

Then things get strange…The Angelus, holding me, it almost feels good.

Almost as if…

I wake up, naked, with The Angelus toying with my body.

"Don't you fucking knock?!" I splutter out, trying to regain my composure.

"It doesn't suit me." The Angelus replies.

"I thought you were into order."

"I was. But I like to indulge my host once in a while. After all, I'm going to have to break her heart sooner or later…"

The Darkness roars out. It's snarling, hissing.

"Don't you fucking dare hurt her." I growl, trying to sound tough.

I get a heel to the balls for my trouble. Me and my big fuckin' mouth…

It hurts for all of a moment.

I sigh, looking into The Angelus' eyes.

"I gotta ask, why? Of all the things, why? Why keep it up? Why torture me, why torture her?"

She smirks.

"I love it. You're desperate. See, you're an evil man, and you've got evil inside you. I'm going to get rid of evil. Even if it means breaking you to pieces, pretty-boy. You've got one hot girlfriend, and she's way too nice for you. So I'm going to keep her. And as you die screaming along with The Darkness, I might find a new host and keep her around as my little concubine."

I am burning red with anger by this point.

"Fuck you! Fuck you, you self-righteous prick! I have had it with you! I am so sick of you! Get it over with, if you've got the stones, you sicko!"

The Angelus laughs, a smug snicker that is both grating and kind of hot.

"I know you've got stones, Jackie. I can see them quite clearly. Wonder how the entirety of New York would like them? All I'd have to do is hang you up somewhere for the paparazzi to find you. Destroy your reputation completely. You'd be the laughingstock of the Underworld."

I glare at her.

"You know, for an ancient force of order, you sure act a lot like a school cheerleader."

"Blame it on your mate, Jackie."

"You're wrong! She's nothing like that!"

"You say there is a light in The Darkness, right? Looks like there may be some darkness in the light…"

I reach under my pillow, and pull out a gun, then cut the power to my lights. My Darkness armor begins to spread….

And then she lights the room up…because the sun is rising. My power is useless. The armor shatters.

"Out of options, Jackie? I think you look tired. Maybe a nice relaxing swim…in the Hudson."

Then something changes. Its eyes glow gold…previously, they looked like Jenny's…

I know something's up when its voice becomes more orderly. Like it should be.

"You have detained us long enough. We will detain you, now. Enjoy a watery bed."

That's when she grabs me, takes me for a ride on Air Fundamentalist, and throws me all the way into the Hudson.

Thank God I own half the barges on the river, because otherwise, I'd be fucked.

Well, now I know three things.

The Hudson River smells like, tastes like, and is probably mostly shit.

I really fucking hate The Angelus.

There is something really, really wrong with Jenny.

And for a supplement, I fucking hate my life.


	7. You Can (Not) Advance

When I was a young man, working for Uncle Paulie, whacking small timers, I learned an important lesson. Everybody has a dark side. I once was doing a small run with Jimmy the Grape. And up until this point, I wondered why Jimmy was coming along. After all, he wasn't young, even back then. I kinda thought of him as a cool old grandpa back then. I still do. But after I saw him blow a guy's brains across the wall of a rat-infested shack and set the place alight, I quickly learned that just because a guy smiles a lot and is really fucking polite, doesn't mean that's all that's there.

I can't decide how I feel right now. Part of me is pissed. I mean, that was humiliating. That was one big colossal sucker punch to my ego. And it was also a threat to Jenny. But speaking of Jenny, she kinda acted off. That is, if I can even trust The Angelus.

Johnny is jumpy the moment I get back and look normal.

"Ok, Jackie? D-don't trust it an inch! The Angelus, s-see, can make you see shit. Hear shit—shit that ain't there, you know?"

"Illusions?"

"Yes. A-and more. It can make you see people that ain't even there…"

"Johnny, though, on the off chance it's telling the truth?"

"Jackie, as-as you well know, everyone has darkness. Jenny? I don't know. I never met her. B-but if you want to find out…there-there-there are ways. It's just…it'll take a while."

"I don't have a while, Johnny!"

"Look, J-Jackie. Hear me out! I know of an artifact that can help us, and The Brotherhood base we raided two nights ago g-gave me a cl-cl-clue to its location!"

I grimace. That was better than nothing, but not by much.

"Alright, where would we have to start looking?"

"Mr. Peevish's h-house, it would seem."

"I'll try to find it. Alone. I'm not getting you dragged into this."

Vinnie springs up beside me.

"Boss, the last time you said that, you ended up disappearing for a week."

He's right of course, but damn it, I have to salvage SOME of my manliness.

"Look, the Brotherhood is dead. There's no way I'm in any danger from walking down the street in broad daylight."

I say it in a tone that makes it clear there's no talking me out of it.

Vinnie sighs, but he knows me well enough to know that I've made up my mind.

"Alright, Boss. But if you need anything, just call us."

"I will, I will. Don't worry."

With that I take the elevator down to the parking garage and drive off in the sedan I'd used the previous night. Johnny's men came through as always—I've got a rough sketch of a map with a little "x" marking the probable location of the late Mr. Peevish's house. My back hurts still from the fall in the river. It's probably just a bruise, but damn if it doesn't hurt.

I drive a while longer, thinking about all that's happened since I got out of hell.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to miss the old days. Before I got The Darkness. Before Uncle Paulie turned out to be a murderous, sociopathic, self-centered douchebag. Before…

Before Jenny died.

Eventually I get out, parking not too far away. When I look at the house it's pretty obvious it's Mr. Peevish's. The windows are shuttered and the whole place has vines growing all over it. Well, at least it's hidden by a gate. I slip in, head up the steps, and…

Fall as the stones crumble beneath me.

*CRACK*

Well, that can't be good—OH MOTHERFUCKER.

I gasp as the air cuts from my lungs. I can't move otherwise. My spine is broken. I'm no doctor, but I can't move, so that's my best guess. And since it's not dark, I can't just let The Darkness heal it. I let out a scream, which, predictably, attracts no one. It's New York. Screaming is like background chatter here. Just someone else's problem.

I'm ready to just give up when I hear the front door open and footstep.

"Oh my God, are you okay?"

That voice…sounds familiar.

"Hey wait…you're that guy…from the club…"

One look from her confirms it. It's Sara.

"I'm Sara. Sara Peevish. You saved me back there."

She looks me over.

"A broken spine. Wait here. I'll help you inside."

Wait…shouldn't she be calling an ambulance?

A few minutes later I'm in. The house is totally dark. My spine begins to reknit itself and heal it stronger than before. I get up and find Sara looking at me with a bemused smirk.

"Jackie Estacado, right?"

"Uh, yeah. That's me."

Smooth, Jackie. Smooth.

"Just what are you doing at my house? I mean, I know we met under intense circumstances, but come on…"

She laughs.

"I…well…" I begin, but she cuts me off.

"Let me guess. You're here because of my creepy father, am I right?"

I shrug, and then nod. No point in lying.

"My dad was obsessed with you. I thought you looked familiar that night, it's just, well… I was kinda doped out of my mind."

I raise an eyebrow.

"Obsessed like…how?"

"He had pictures of you everywhere and maps relating to where you were."

Ok then. Peevish had been even more of a creep than I realized.

She sighed, taking out a cigarette and doing a long drag on it.

"Yeah, dad was a creepy little bastard. Spent all his time with his freaky friends and occasionally got me food, when it suited him. He left home often and I had to fend for myself, while he chased his little 'Darkness' all over the place. Then he disappeared for good one night. I'm guessing you had something to do with it."

Boy, wasn't she blunt.

"Yeah…I kinda ripped his heart out and The Darkness ate it."

That got her to laugh.

"Not surprised. So what brings you to this hellhole? If you want his artifacts and notes…I'd be willing to share. I've been just playing around with magic a bit. Wanted to fix over Paulie, but you got to him first. So…what now?"

"Listen, apparently your dad had something to talk with ghosts, things that could get past The Angelus."

She nods.

"Yeah, I think I might know what you're talking about, Jackie. Or do you prefer Don Estacado?" she said, hips cocked, and eyes firmly placed 45 degrees over my head.

Jesus Christ, what a smartass.

"Let's skip the formalities, Sara. I'm here because of The Brotherhood. I'm here because right now, because of everything they did, The Angelus got free reign over my girlfriend's soul."

"My dad cockblocked you?"

I actually laugh. That's terrible. It shouldn't be funny, but I'm laughing.

"Ha…ha…Look, this is serious."

"Hey, cool it, Brando. I've got this covered."

She pulls the steps to the attic down from the ceiling and that's when the Darklings attack.

I pull the pistols I got for my 21st birthday out of my coat. Sara grabs a repeater off the wall.

"Alright, Estacado, stand back. I've got some serious daddy issues to deal with."

She smirks.

Man, I have GOT to get this girl a job.


	8. House

_AN: Sorry about the long wait and short update. Life's been kind of crazy._

Family is a funny thing. And I don't just mean The Family, but that is part of it. You hear always that family are the guys who stick with you to the end, and all that. That's both true and false. It's not always your main family that sticks by you. Like Uncle Paulie. You know, I would have been THANKFUL if he'd just been a deadbeat dad who skipped out on me. That'd be better than what he was. My father died. I killed my uncle. My true family? Jenny. Aunt Sarah. Jimmy the Grape. Vinnie. Dolfo. All those guys. And I've lost far too many of them…

My pistols flash, the barrels spewing purple Darkness smoke. My bullets find their way through the Darklings. I can tell The Darkness doesn't care about losing minions. These were stolen from it, drained. Actually, this helps it—it gets whatever it lost back now.

Sara's not doing badly. She's at least used a gun before. Three more Darklings bite it from her shots, followed by a fourth who tried to sneak up on her.

I blow one away dropping from the ceiling and use a tendril to shred another.

_OH yes JACKIE. THE POWER IS MINE._

Well, at least it's happy for now.

Eventually, we blow through the rest of them, and head up to the attic. There's a vague stench of blood in the air…and a shit ton of air fresheners.

It kinda looks like the end of _Raiders of the Lost Ark_. There are crates everywhere. Thank God Sara knows where she's going. She leads me down to the end of the attic and pulls out a small wood box.

"This is it, hotshot. There should be instructions with it or something. I don't know. I never really talked with my father at all."

Ouch. This girl's had it rough. I mean, at least Paulie talked to me, even if he was an asshole. And I had Jimmy, and Aunt Sarah, and all the others…

I turn to face her.

"Hey. Sara. You haven't got anybody left, right?"

She just shakes her head sadly.

"Thanks for reminding me…" she says bitterly.

"What are you gonna do?" I ask.

She flings her hands up.

"I don't know. Overdose on coke and die, maybe. Or else get shunted off to some rich, entitled fuck with no sense of priorities."

It's almost scary how much that nearly described me, but I figure I'll give my plan a shot.

"Listen, Sara. I know you hated your father. Thing is though, he's left me in a rather inconvenient place, and if I don't work through some of the crap he's left me dealing with and get a better understanding of The Darkness, I'm going to lose the one thing in my life that made it worth living. How would you feel about a job, Sara? You'd be paid a hell of a lot better than the average young woman working at Burger King. And it beats an internship."

She looks at me, a mixture of hope and her world-weary sarcasm looking back at me.

"Look, Corleone, I'll take it." She snarks at me. "But just making sure—this won't lead to my arrest or me ending up in a situation where I can never leave, right?"

She's a smart girl. She's probably seen _The Godfather _a few too many times.

Who am I to judge? I've seen it five hundred times, probably.

"No records. No arrests. No binding contract. Just a job and a new shot at life, Sara."

She grins.

"When do I start, Mr. Estacado?"

"Right now."


	9. Urban Legend

I'm not a very good person. I'm willing to admit that, and it's a fact I have to face every day. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in second chances. If someone's willing to take it, that is. Second chances are rare things among criminals. But that doesn't mean they don't exist. Strictly speaking, I'm not doing Sara any favours. This is going to be hard work, and it's going to go dark, unpleasant places. But now she's going to have people there for her. She's been to dark, unpleasant places before. Hell, she lives in one. But I'll be damned twice over if I can't help her out.

I set Sara up in a modest office with Johnny Powell working nearby. I figure the two supernatural geeks will hit it off after a while. They can hopefully get that device working. I'm not one for magic, but I know it's not complete, because when we tried getting it to work it set Johnny's desk on fire and covered me in ooze. In the meantime, I've got to try contacting Jenny again. But the list of crap I have to get…

One chicken egg, okay, that's easy. Powdered silver? That's harder, but I'm sure some cheap rings from a pawn shop would do if I ground them up. 32 grams of wolfsbane? REALLY?

Okay, fine, there are easier ways. One of which involves a mirror. But I have to use it in a place of great emotion and solitude. Somewhere where I could feel real emotions and not just the casual fits of pleasure and mild annoyance of the typical New Yorker.

So that's why I'm currently sitting in the burnt-out wreckage of the orphanage, on a floor that's a dark mix of bloodstains and ashes, the smell of high explosives never having quite left. The wind whispers through the corridors and in some buried part of me I half expect Mother Superior to chew me out for being out of bed.

Then I remember Mother Superior's probably all over the floor of this place, literally.

It's times like these where I wonder if I couldn't have picked a safer career, like skydiving.

The mood in the place is a real downer, I'm not gonna lie. It feels like hell in here…no, wait, that's not right. I've been to hell. They're similar, though. Both have this feeling of emptiness. Like all the happiness in my life, what little I had left, was sucked out of me. I'd do anything to avoid feeling it again…

But I have to. I have to do it for her. For Jenny…the only woman I ever loved.

I take the mirror, trying to find the best place for it. And then I realize where I am…

This is Jenny's old room. She kissed me for the first time, right outside here. Yeah, sure, the nuns didn't like us getting too close. But…even the most fundamentalist sisters didn't seem to mind that day. It had been one hell of a bad day for me, and that kiss was the only thing that got me through it.

I think about her kiss. Now, it tastes like ashes.

I place the mirror up on the wall, just below where the fires have burned a cross into it. A holy symbol for the added power of faith, coupled with powerful emotions—love, fear, and anger.

"Jenny…I sit here in your memory. I need to speak with you. I come without fear. Please…if you can hear me…come talk to me."

I wait. The wind around me rushes like a hurricane, and then, finally, my hair stops blowing backward for a moment, and Jenny's face appears in the mirror.

"Jenny…" I speak, practically a sigh.

"Jackie…I miss you…"

Those words are like knives to me. It's not bad…it's in fact exactly what I want to hear, but…it hurts all the same because she's gone. And it's all my fault.

"Jenny…I know I'm no fuckin' good. But I promise…I promise I'll make it right…I promise I'll get you back, set you free…we're gonna be together again…"

I can't contain myself. I'm crying. It all just flows. In my memory, my 21-year-old self draws the 1911 and shoves it against his head.

"Shh…Jackie…I know how you feel…Stop punishing yourself. It's not your fault."

That just makes me cry even more. Shit, what's with all the crying? This isn't like me…

And then it hits me. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in a month, I've been to hell and back, and I've had my heart metaphorically ripped out and stomped on. So it's only natural I feel like crap. I'm tired of feeling broken up. Tired of feeling like death's all I ever know…I really just ought to take my gun and—

"Jackie, no!"

Jenny's voice cuts through to me and I realize I'm two seconds from shooting myself. Something isn't right.

And that's when I feel warmth on my shoulders, venomous lips on my cheek, and a sigh in my ear.

_"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"_

The Angelus.

"Get out." I snarl at her. "This doesn't concern you. I'm just trying to have a little last bit of happiness before you ruin my life completely, you know? Does being "Order" and "Light" also make you a total dick with no concern for anyone's feelings? Because you know, you are a first-class bitch. You're the kind of person the word "cunt" was invented for."

She just laughs that same smug little laugh she always does. The fact that the laugh is coming from my girlfriend's shape really doesn't help matters.

"Very well, Jackie. It seems my attempts had no effect."

She flies off, leaving me alone with Jenny and my tears.

"I'm sorry, Jackie, I wish I could stop her."

"Jenny, I can't ask you to do anything. You've done everything a guy could ever ask for. You loved even a scumbag like me."

Her voice begins to soothe me as she speaks.

"Jackie, are you…worried about me?"

"Of course I am…it's just, there's this other thing…"

"What is it, Jackie?"

"The Angelus said…said you had a bad side, that she kept drawing all her sadism from it. That…that can't be true. It's not like you…"

"Jackie…she's been awakening things in me…things I didn't even know existed…she wants to hurt you, Jackie, and she'll do it anyway she can, no matter how low."

Shit. That isn't good. If The Angelus has found a way of bringing out…hold on. Her bad side…wouldn't that mean…

_"We TRIED to warn YOU JACKIE…"_

"Oh no…No…No…."

I grab the first Darkness tendril that comes out of me, and begin choking it.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER, YOU BASTARD?!"

I begin shooting it. I don't care what happens. It has to pay. It has to.

Another tendril comes around my neck, strangling me until it all goes black.

And that was the fifth time I died, or something


	10. Raw Deal

Dying isn't a fun experience. It's kind of soul-crushing and actually pretty fucking terrifying. This is why I kinda shudder whenever I hear about some poor desperate teenager who blew their brains out. I did that once, and that was enough to make me never want to do it again. Imagine what that'd feel like for them.

Because let me tell you, the place you go is no fun at all. And it'll make you pray for your worst day. Because even your worst day is better than what awaits you in hell.

I wake up in a place I've been far too often. This hellhole. The Darkness's realm. Hell, or at least, something like it.

And there's The Darkness, all ready to begin a lecture.

"JACKiE, WE did NOT mean HARM!"

"So what did you mean, fuck-face? Did you mean to just give her a big fucking inconvenience?"

"LISTEN. We KNEW the ANGELUS would come for her."

"So you tried fucking her up so it wouldn't take her?!"

"We TRIED TO introduce CHAOS in her. BUT HER FAITH was UNSHAKEABLE. HER LOVE too PURE, too ORDERLY."

Shit…what if The Darkness really did have good intentions?

"I don't like it when you drag my girlfriend into things! Just like last time, when you got her killed!"

"WE THOUGHT it would make YOU STRONGER."

"You were fucking wrong!"

"IT ALSO served the PURPOSE of getting her AWAY from OUR FOE."

I can't believe it. This…this thing…had gotten the one love of my life killed…to cover its ass.

"FUCK YOU!" I scream at The Darkness. "FUCK YOU! I'm tired of being your puppet! I'm tired of seeing everyone I know and love DIE for you! You sick, selfish, self-aggrandizing piece of shit! I don't care if you made me stronger! You think I ASKED for this?! And don't even TRY to play the "you killed Uncle Paulie" card. You saved me ONCE. JUST ONCE. Every other time you've fucked me over! And you expect me, in that warped, twisted, black little heart of yours, that I'll worship you?!"

The Darkness is silent for a moment.

"Jackie…PERHAPS we OWE an apology…WE ARE not OVERLY concerned with HUMAN EMOTION. It is BEYOND our UNDERSTANDING. SUFFERING is our FOOD. THAT is ALL WE KNOW."

I get up from my seat on the floor.

"I don't know if you're lying, Darkness. I don't frankly care anymore. But understand this. I'm a human being. I'm not just some slave. I'm not a horse you can ride, or a dog you can put on a leash. If there's any animal I'm like, it's a cat. I'm a snarky motherfucker who sits around eating your food and not caring about your plans. And I spend all my free time with my girl. So you know what? Let's establish some ground rules."

"YOU CANNOT be SERIOUS!"

"Try me. Either you play by my rules, or you lose your host, your plans, and your war with The Angelus. Because being dead would be better than being your bitch."

"You DRIVE a HARD BARGAIN, JACKIE. VERY WELL. State YOUR TERMS."

"Alright. You're gonna help me get Jenny back. And when you do, you're not touching her unless I say so of my own free will. You don't get to hurt her, kill her, or make her your puppet. And you don't get to control me to make me break those rules. In exchange, I help you fight The Angelus. I said fight, not destroy. Because I'm a balanced man, and I'm sure as hell not living in a world where I can't see shit."

The Darkness makes a sound that I can only assume is a sigh.

"VERY WELL."

"So, uh, do I get to go now, or are we gonna start playing charades and 20 Questions?"

"YOU will RETURN. YOUR FRIENDS miss you ALREADY."

"Boss? Boss?! Oh, thank God! Boss! We thought we'd lost you!"

Vinnie's panicking as usual, and I don't blame him. I'm back in my room, lying on my bed.

"How long was I out?" I groan.

"Uh…three days. The new kid told us where you'd gone, and so, we raced to save you. Figured you got jumped by that Angelus thing again. Or a support beam gave way. I know you're tough, Boss, but we don't take risks if we think you've been hurt."

Man, I love the Family.

"Ok, Vinnie. I'm gonna need a few things. First off, a cold glass of water and some aspirin. Secondly, I need you to put on _The Godfather _for me. I just got out of hell again, and I'm too sore to move."

"You got it, Boss."

I pause.

"Oh, and one more thing, Vinnie?"

"Yes, Boss?"

"Make sure Johnny Powell doesn't bother me unless it's super important. Hell, if it is, just have him put it in writing and I'll read it. And make sure Sara reads it too. She's better at this supernatural shit than me."

Jimmy the Grape sets up the TV in front of me, not able to resist a quip of his own:

"That's pretty funny coming from a man of your repertoire, Jackie."

I shrug, and laugh. My ribs then ache.

"Screw you, Angelus."

Those are the last words I say before Nino Rota's score carries me off peacefully into a state of pure bliss.


End file.
